


It'll go away in the morning

by sukios



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Panic Attacks, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Self-Indulgent, Supportive Victor Nikiforov, i'm a mess, kinda just venting here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2019-08-02 12:31:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16305269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sukios/pseuds/sukios
Summary: Yuuri is a mess, and Victor takes care of him.(I'm just venting through this honestly, haha I'm sorry.)





	It'll go away in the morning

**Author's Note:**

> Translations for you guys :)  
> ya tebya lyublyu- I love you  
> moya lyubov- My love  
> vozlyublennaya- sweetheart  
> moye solntse- my sun

_Yuuri's forgotten how to breath,_ he thinks to himself. His hand his clutching at his shirt, the thin material suddenly feeling too thick, _too heavy._ Yuuri is sitting on the bathroom floor, he doesn't remember how he got there or what he was doing but he can only remember that he just _can't breath_. 

Disgusting, Yuuri thinks to himself. _'I'm disgusting, and Victor doesn't want me',_ he notes mentally. Pathetic, he think he's pathetic because he can't even take care of himself while Victor goes out to the store. _Pathetic._ If only Victor saw him like this, heaving and grasping his chest for air. He would truly see how disgusting Yuuri was and then, just then he would finally leave him alone. All alone, forever. At the thought of this Yuuri lets out a strangled cry, it's too hot and the bathroom is suddenly _too small_. It's too small and his thoughts are just _too_ loud.

His hand scratches over his wrist, just hard enough to break the skin. Then blood, _oh_. There's blood, he does it again. And again, and again until is arm is raw and blood drips onto the bathroom tile.

He's gonna die right here on the bathroom floor, _their_ bathroom floor. Victor, _oh god, Victor_. Victor's gonna walk in and see his body laying on the bathroom floor because he just can't breath, there is no air.

Yuuri's hands clutch at his damp raven strands as he tries focusing on the tile, sucking in deep breaths. No matter how much air he tends to suck in there's just not enough.

 

 

_

 

Victor walks in through the front door, arms carrying heavy groceries. He staggers in to set them on the kitchen greeted by a whining Makkachin, Victor smiles down at the poodle and lowers to his knees placing a cold hand to the dogs curly fur.

"Makkachin, where's Yuuri? Where is that silly boy?", Victor smiles to himself only receiving another whine from the poodle. With this Victor gets up and heads to the living room where the Television was playing, but no Yuuri. Victor frowned and walked into the hall, seeing the bathroom door cracked and light peering out Victor smiled finding his fiance.

 " _Moya lyubov_ , I'm home.", Victor says opening the bathroom door, his smile dropping as soon as he sees the picture before him. Yuuri, _his Yuuri_ is on the bathroom floor gasping and looking as small as ever.

" _Yuuri!_ ", Victor cries out placing himself on the floor in front of the smaller man, Victor's hands gently grab Yuuri's arms away from his face and this is when Yuuri looks up, eyes scared and as lost as ever. Victor _finally_ understand what's going on and it clicks, ' _if Yuuri is to have panic attacks make sure you get him to focus on breathing, don't get too close it might make him panic more.'_  

Victor remembers the steps Yuuri's counselor had told him if Yuuri was to have a panic attack, Yuuri hadn't had one in so _long_. Victor breathed and took Yuuri's hand placing against his chest, Yuuri looked at Victor confused and scared and Victor gave him a soft smile.

"Alright, Moya solnste, Feel my heartbeat?", Yuuri nods frantically. Victor takes Yuuri's hand and gently guides it to his own chest, "Now feel yours, your heart is beating _too_ fast and we need to fix that. So copy my breath, yeah?"

Yuuri nods and copies Victor's breathing, they both stay like that for awhile copying each other's breaths on the bathroom floor while Victor is whispering sweet nothings into Yuuri's ear. Soon Yuuri's breathing is raspy but slow and shallow again, Victor sighs in relief taking Yuuri's hands in is own running a soothing thumb over Yuuri's palm. Victor is about to ask what had happened until his eyes land on Yuuri's injured arm, dried blood stained the pale arm. There were scattered scratches that had broken the skin and was sure enough to bleed a good amount, Victor gasped and brushed a thumb over one of the injuries.

 

Yuuri hadn't noticed and was now looking down where Victor was, he felt ashamed. Embarrassed, Victor looked back up into Yuuri's eyes with sorrow. Yuuri's heart _clenched_ , he began to mutter his apology was stopped by a soothing voice. 

"Shh, _Yuuri_. Lets get you bandaged and cleaned up, then we can talk." Yuuri only swallowed and nodded, Victor helped him stand up and had him sit on the bathroom counter. Victor retrieved the first-aid kit retrieving bandage wrap and rubbing alcohol, grabbing Yuuri's arm gently he gave a sad smile looking up at Yuuri, then turned to the alcohol dabbing some on a washcloth, "Deep breath, moya lyubov. This is going to sting." Yuuri nodded and took in a deep breath, Victor dabbed the raw arm and received a small whine from Yuuri making his heart ache.

He raised Yuuri's knuckes to his mouth placing a few gentle kisses and whispering a small apology, soon Yuuri's arm was bandaged and Yuuris attention was elsewhere as Victor searched his face for answers. Finally drawing his attention back to his fiance in front of him, he knew he had to talk.

"I-i'm sorry, Vitya..I didn't know what was going on and suddenly I couldn't breath, a-and my mind was racing a mile a minute and I didn't even know I was d-doing it..i," Yuuri's voice quivered. Victor deserved better than him, _way_ better. Victor leaned in placing a chaste kiss onto the other man's lips then another to his nose, Yuuri looked back into Victor's eyes and worried on his bottom lip.

" _Moy milyy yuuri_ , remember the negative thoughts that run through your head are not true. I love you, Yuuri. _I love you_ , and I am not going anywhere anytime soon." Yuuri gave a small smile, which made Victor smile. "I love you too, _Vitya_.." Yuuri said softly, Victor placed his arms around Yuuri and gave a soft kiss to his cheek.

"Lets get you to bed, _vozlyublennaya_.", With this Victor gently lifted Yuuri off the counter receiving a gasp from the other man. Wrapping his arms around Victor's shoulders as he carried him to their bedroom. 

 

_

 

Soon they were tucked under the blankets of their bed, Makkachin at the foot of the bed, Victor's arms had found their way around Yuuri's waste while his free hand played with Yuuri's soft strands. Yuuri had his arms around Victor, their legs were tangled mess between the sheets. 

Soon Victor heard Yuuri's breaths shallow and slow down telling him he was asleep, Victor smiled leaning forward just enough to kiss the top of Yuuri's head.

" _Ya tebya lyublyu_ , Yuuri." Victor cooed and soon followed into a deep sleep. They would be okay, _his Yuuri_ would be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> This was just for me to vent through, otherwise I hope you guys enjoyed. ily <3


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